I feel bad for Christians, they’re in for a rude awakening when their “Jesus” doesn’t show up. It’s so sad how fooled they’re being.
That’s what my response would have been to you about seven years ago if you had asked me what I thought about Christianity. For years I never understood why people believed in Jesus. More importantly, what did his death on a cross have to do with me? Salvation? What does that even mean?
In April of 2008, I moved from Newark, NJ to Bronx, NY. Having grown up in South Florida, I was exposed to a melting pot of cultures…and a wide variety of drugs. While I didn’t try everything, I tried enough to know the meaning of addiction. This move to New York City thrilled and scared me at the same time.
At that point in my life, relationships with men were going poorly and I thought maybe it’s time to give women a try. I had responded to a Craigslist ad for a roommate in a 2BD/2BA and $800 covers all expenses. Is this a joke?! My own bathroom in NYC and only $800!! I spoke with the woman over the phone and scheduled a viewing of her apartment. During our conversation, she mentioned that she worked at the church. A concern came over me: “is this woman gonna have an issue with my lifestyle?” Still, I had this really great feeling about the apartment, so I went…and it changed my life.
The apartment was great! Moreover, the young lady and I hit it off great! I was surprised at first, I didn’t think I’d feel comfortable sharing information about my life with her. But she put on a pot of tea and we ended up sharing with one another for hours. It was really nice, I felt like I had finally found someone genuine to talk to in NYC…and it had only been a few hours. Here was this nice, conservatively dressed, petite, christian woman laughing with me about all different topics. I had never experienced that before. Ever. As we got more into our pasts and things we’ve been through, I opened up to her and told her my reservations about living there. I was a drinking, smoking, partying single girl in NYC and I had no plans to retire from that lifestyle any time soon. She looked at me with a smile so warm and said “That’s okay Nicole, I understand.” Really? Wow…not the answer I was expecting. When I asked if she was sure she replied, “As long as you don’t smoke in the house, that’s your business, but I used to be a weed head myself, so yeah…I understand.” SAY WHAT?!!! What the hell just happened?! Did she just say what I think she said?! This woman used to smoke weed?! As shocked as I was, that wasn’t the biggest shocker.
As I sat there with my jaw hanging open, she proceeded to tell me more about her past. Not only was she an ex-stoner, she used to be a stripper and a lesbian! In fact, she was engaged to a woman she had lived with for five years! Stop the mothertruck’n presses.
Y’all…I thought I had seen it all when I saw a woman wash out her own feces from her draws in a sink inside the public restroom at the Newark Train Station, but this moment was rounding up to first place. My mouth was full of questions and she answered them all.
She told me how, at one time, she felt similar to the way I did about church. In fact, she studied several religions before she even considered Christianity. I don’t remember how she came to Christ exactly, but I’ll never forget the results of His presence in her life that night. Something was different about this girl, and I didn’t know if I believed it was God or not, but I knew I had never seen it on anyone else that I knew personally.
Within weeks after moving in, I saw that this girl meant what she said and she didn’t judge me. I spewed out my then foul beliefs about God and she just listened and loved me without judgement. She spoke to me with so much love in her heart and she never held my “negative thoughts” against me. It wasn’t long before I wanted to visit her church. So I did. There was a whole church full of people just as loving, kind, and genuine as her! I’ll never forget it.
Maybe it had something to do with the Bronx, people up there know what hard times are like. There was nothing “cookie cutter” about them. These people had bills, problems, life, kids, and frustrations but they were always so hopeful and full of love. Maybe I was wrong…is God real?
By my second visit I still wasn’t sure about Jesus, but I knew, I knew wanted what they had but I wanted it just for me. I wanted my own experience.
I gave my heart to Christ, still not sure about him, and I joined the church. After asking a lot of questions, reading the bible, and many days of prayer, I finally met Jesus for myself.
Ladies and gentlemen, there is absolutely no more doubt in my heart that He is real. Jesus is real and no one is disqualified to be his friend.
Here it is five years later and I’m still experiencing Jesus everyday.
I want to encourage you and tell you how much God loves you, that is why I developed this blog. Jesus told me to start this blog to encourage single women everywhere who want to be married, however He’s developed it into something much greater: This blog is for anyone who is curious about Jesus, or knows Him intimately, that wants to walk in the unconditional love and grace of our Lord and Saviour.
“They overcame him by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony…” -Rev 12:11